Lesson learned
by elly32
Summary: Life gives Bobby an important lesson.
1. Chapter 1

_Hi! It's me again! _

_Hope you'll like my new story- it's gonna be really short, not more then 5 chapters:)_

_As always: I apologize for any and all mistakes in grammar and/or spelling I've made:)_

_Disclaimer: Sadly not mine._

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If circumstances had been different his early arrive at the bullpen would have prompted smiles on Sue and Lucy's faces and an sarcastic comment from Myles. If circumstances had been different he would have answered Myles jokingly while winking knowingly at girls. If only circumstances had been different it could have been a very beautiful day.

Bobby pondered in silence fixing his eyes on a cup full of cold coffee. Actually he didn't even know why he had brewed himself one since for over two weeks he had no trouble at all with the exaggerated sleepiness

_As if I live on on the autopilot, getting up, making coffee going to the office returning home_ he thought not noticing that he's friends started to fill up the bullpen.

„ At what time did he come today?" Sue asked Lucy gazing with anxiety at the sitting agent.

„ Peter said that he had appeared about 5 am" Lucy turned her head "I thought that with time it would be better but I'm starting to think that it's only getting worse "

Jack, listening to their conversation had to agree. With every day passing by Bobby looked more and more ill. His clothes were wrinkled as if he's sleeping in them, but his eyes clearly provided that he wasn't sleeping at all . His humorous smile and playful comments disappeared altogether. It seemed as if the Bobby they had known disappeared only to be replaced by somebody completely different . He was turning them off more and more. Sometimes he ignored their calling to the point that it was necessary to shake him in order to gain his attention. And in their line of work the lack of the concentration meant certain death.

D, whose thoughts whet in the same directions as Jack's came up.

„ Garret's giving him some time off, to gain a little distance"

Jack shook his head in a protest " You can't! Just look at him! This work is the only thing that keeps him alive !

D frowned

" Jack, you have to understand, we can't risk, right now he's only a threat both for himself and for the others!" D stated severely and then added more gently seeing genuine concern written all over Jack's face " I also worry about him but maybe a change of scenery will help. "

Jack clenched his jaw and in silence observed Garret's secretary passing Bobby a message that Garret wants to see him. Perhaps D was right, perhaps the change was what Bobby really needed at the moment.

Bobby got up from the chair with a sigh. He sensed what was happening, he wasn't blind, he knew that in his state he was no use at work. It's been only a matter of time before somebody kick him out . Bobby passed Jack with his head down and left the bullpen without a word.

„ Jack, he looks... " Sue whispered her voice trembling

" He looks like zombie" Jack completed sadly watching his leaving friend.

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Bobby sat in his car not knowing where to go. Garret gave him time off.

Two weeks. Two weeks for shaking off.

Bobby left without a word from his office and at once he directed toward the garage.

He knew that he had left his things at bullpen but he didn't have enough courage to go back there and face them all, to see their worry.

He didn't want to talk to anybody, he didn't want to see anybody, apart from only one person who wasn't there.

He tightened his hands on the steering wheel.

Tara.

He will go to Tara.

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	2. Chapter 2

_A.N. Thank YOU waikiki, Justicerocks and London girl for reviews!_

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Jack, for a hundredth time looked at the watch strangely alarmed with his friend's long absence. Bobby has been gone for over half an hour and Jack was feeling more anxious witch each passing second .

Something was wrong, very wrong. Jack couldn't help but think that he'd missed it. Some kind of sign, something very important in Bobbie's attitude, in his lowered head when he had left the bullpen.

_He's not going to come back!_ This thought turn up suddenly in Jack's head and he sprained from his chair with haste.

Before Sue was able to ask him what's wrong Jack's already running toward Garret's office cursing himself for not thinking about the possibilities earlier.

" Bobby's still inside ?" he breathlessly asked Garret's secretary

„ No. He left a while ago" Tess stated surprised by his sudden entrance.

Jack's heart dropped, he was too late!

" What is happening?" Tess asked but Jack was already on his way back to the bullpen. He reached for his cell, his mind racing.

"Pick up Bobby, pick up!" he muttered to himself holding the phone and running. His inside alarm was on and he felt in his guts that they need to hurry.

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Bobby switched off the engine and breathed with relief. He was able to see gate from here, and from that mere sight he could feel a wonderful kind of a calmness slowly spreading through him. It's the only place in the world he could find his peace. It's exactly what he needed right now: peace and his Tara.

" I'm coming Tara" he mumbled getting out from the car " I'm coming".

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„ Jack, have you seen Bobby? His mobile won't stop ringing" Lucy complained and Jack without the word shut off his phone.

„ He didn't come back did he?" Jack asked with slight hope.

"No, we thought he's still at Garret's" Myles got up sensing the tension

"Tess said he had left about half an hour ago '' Jack explained feeling more and more guilty.

He should have seen it coming!

He left Bobby alone, some friend he was! How could he not notice something so obvious? Bobby was breaking down with each day, and he- he's so called best friend- did nothing about it!

"I'll check whether his car is still here" Lucy offered reaching for the phone.

„ Jack, what's happening?" Sue touched his shoulder lightly offering him her support

" I'm not sure. Bobby left without a word, he has never done this before " Jack clenched his fists and quietly confessed " I just have bad feeling, like something very bad is going to happen"

" He left " Lucy announced hanging up.

Sue tightened her hold on Jack's arm while Myles grumbled something picking up his car keys.

Now all of them felt rising dread.

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"I'm an idiot, luv" Bobby confessed looking straight ahead „complete fool! Stupid drongo! I wasted so much time, so many chances!Like that day when we went for a concert!" he smiled a little remembering „ God, you looked so beautiful that evening so sweet, like an angel. And what did I do? I hurt you like a stupid fool I am." he ended bitterly

„ You should have slapped me that day in park. I deserved far worse than that" Bobby murmured hanging his head down with shame remembering his mindless words and flash of pain in Tara's eyes „ but I guess you know it like you know that I love you. "

Now, when those three little words were said aloud he could only wondered why it had took him so much time to say it. Why, why hadn't he told her sooner? But it's too late now, he couldn't turn back time.

" I have always loved you and I always will" he promised "My Tara, My beautiful, brilliant wonderful Tara. " his fingers traced the inscription engraved on a simple slab of stone, as if memorizing it.

„ _Tara Williams, beloved friend"_

„ It should have been me, luv" he whispered his voice cracking "It should have been me"

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	3. Chapter 3

_A.N. Thank YOU waikiki, Justicerocks, London girl ant Pattyfer for reviews!_

_They keep me going:)_

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Bobby's tears were now falling freely down his face but he made no move to wipe them of. He didn't care anymore. He was so worn out.

"I'm so sorry luv" he weeped his head in his hands" I'm so sorry for not telling you those words before, for not shooting that bastard , for not being there for you, I'm so sorry, so sorry" the rest of his words became a sob when events of that gruesome day returned to him. That one day which changed everything, that day in which his whole world ended.

_Their job was already done. All arrested criminals were cuffed and officers started leading them toward awaiting prison-vans. Bobby and Jack stood by the car laughing and joking. They waited for Tara who was in the van securing her equipment. They planed to join the others at the bullpen to celebrate. Everything was perfectly fine, till they heard first shout._

_Both of them turned away , weapons ready in their hands. They've witnessed one of criminals, they had arrested only awhile ago breaking free from his cuffs and tearing the gun from the officer next to him. Everything happened so fats that none was able to react. The criminal started turning around holding a gun . Everyone was yelling. It's a total mess. Bobby squinted his eyes looking for clean position to take his shot. One shot would be enough. And then in the middle of that chaos he clearly heard unmistakable sound of van's doors opening. Criminal reacted instinctively, his finger slid on the trigger and a shot reverberated through the air._

_Bobby could only watch as if in slow motion how the fired bullet is heading toward Tara. Not knowing when he dropped the gun from his hand and desperately lunged forward trying- against any logic and physics laws- to outdistance the bullet. To get to her and shield her even with his own body if needed. He didn't make it, he didn't even have a chance to make it. He was to far from her._

_Tara collapsed on the ground hit by the bullet. The red stain spread in lightning pace on her blouse._

_Bobby was next to her in a split of second after that, but it's too late. He could only helplessly watch her die in his arms._

The rest- paramedics, hospital, and her funeral - was blur.

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„ Where is he?" Jack was panicking. He and Sue have been driving around the city for over an hour searching for Bobby, not having a clue where to look.

They checked his flat but Bobby didn't turn up there, they checked all his favorite spots and still nothing.

Sue gasped when the idea came to her „ Tara! Jack, he went to Tara!"

Jack scowled angry at himself for not thinking about it sooner. It's the first place they should have checked instead wasting so much time!

Without hesitation, and bluntly ignoring any regulations he whirled the car in place not paying attention to the roar of horns.

"You don't think that he may" Sue couldn't even bring herself to express her fears aloud.

Jack tightened his hands on the steering wheel. He wanted to calm her, but wasn't able to lie to her.

„I'm afraid" he confessed " I'm afraid since that day at the hospital when they told us that Tara's dead"

With his right hand he reached toward Sue's and locked their fingers searching for comfort "He, his face..." he swallowed „ I've never seen so much pain in human eyes "

Sue's palms tighten up around his in silent understanding. They already had lost one member of their family they couldn't lose a second.

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	4. Chapter 4

_A.N. Thank YOU waikiki, Justicerocks, London girl ant Pattyfer for reviews!_

_London girl, I'll finish " Night out" as soon as I can. Unfortunately my muse keeps abandoning me:)_

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Has it really been only two weeks since that dreadful day? For him those two weeks, felt like an eternity in Hell. Every moment, every move, was an effort. It practically hurt to breath. In the office he would catch himself looking for a blond head with elfin like face just to see her smile or ask her something only to remember that she was gone, and he would relive that day all over again.

But nights, nights were the worst. Every time he closed his eyes, he could seen her. Her lithe figure, her smiling face, her sweet voice drawing him to her. She's so close so real in his dreams. He would start reaching for her wanting desperately to hold her only to watch her disappear before his eyes leaving him empty handed. He would awaken then, crying her name, bathed in cold sweat, his heart racing. There was no peace for him, there was no escape from the guilt he felt.

He was supposed to be her protector and he'd failed. All his strength, determination and courage was useless. Tara was gone because he wasn't fast enough. He was a failure. He had her blood on his hands.

„ I'm done luv, I tried, I swear to you I really did but I can't do it any longer " Bobby confessed „ nothing makes sense, it's almost like I've been already dead. I just can't take it, I can't live without you here without seeing you, touching you „ his voice cracked "it hurts luv it just hurts too much" he wiped his tears with the back of his hand and reached for the object laying next to him.

The familiar weight promised the relief from the torment which was his life.

"Forgive me God please forgive me" he prayed.

His hands mechanically checked the gun. It was loaded and ready. All he had to do was to pull a trigger.

It was so simple. One bullet and he would be free. One bullet and his nightmare would be over.

"I know luv that I won't meet you in a place , where I'm going, but maybe ..." he lifted the gun and released the safety catch "... maybe merciful God ..." he put the weapon to his temple

" I love you Tara" he pulled the trigger.

" BOBBY NOOOOOO!" someone was yelling

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	5. Chapter 5

THANK YOU MY DEAR REVIEWERS!

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It was the strange smell that made him confused. Surprisingly hell smelled of antiseptic. He opened his eyes and blinked few times wanting to get rid of the fog. It hurts he realized looking around tentatively .

The sunlight falling through the window clearly lighted the room he was in. The hospital room .

He survived. They brought him back to life, back to his nightmare.

" Welcome back agent Manning" doctor smiled at his patient " you gave us quite a scare!But don't worry everything is going to be just fine now"

Doctor checked some readings given him by the nurse and nodded his approval " We managed to remove the bullet, you were lucky, it hit centimeters from your heart. Thankfully no vital organs were damaged"

Bobby was confused, he remembered shooting himself in the head, not in the chest. Why doctor said the bullet had hit him in the chest?

" I'm sure that you feel tired and disorientated at the moment, but that's expected in your condition. Don't worry a few weeks of rest, some healthy food and you will be back in the field in now time"

Bobby couldn't grasp what was happening. Why the doctor didn't ask him about his suicide attempt, why didn't he sent for a psychologist.

Why nothing was as it should have been?

„ Your friends are here, they're waiting on the corridor as we speaking. They've been here everyday for those two weeks, never leaving your bedside. You're really lucky to have them. I'll let them in but only for a moment, you need your rest" young nurse at the sign given by the doctor opened the door before Bobby managed to proceed doctor's words.

_'Two weeks? I've been out for two weeks?'_ Bobby wondered but before he was able to formulate some conclusions his friends were already walking into the room.

Suddenly ashamed he shut his eyes. He didn't want to see their faces. He didn't want to see their compassion and their disappointed with him. He could hear how they gathered around his bed. They 're here for him, and he couldn't even look them in the eyes.

How could he be so selfish?

_'I must apologize to them, at least to try to explain'_ he realized

" You just couldn't help yourself Koala-boy" Myles's voice penetrated his thoughts " you just had to play a hero and get as all worried"

_'A hero?'_

Did Myles finally succumbed to lunacy? What could be heroic in a suicide? He opened his eyes ready to ask about it, but the words died on his lips.

_' I'm the one who finally lost it'_ he decided but still madness never has been more tempting

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	6. Chapter 6

_So, this is it the final chapter!_

_Thank YOU to all who reviewed this story , I hope You all gonna like the end:)_

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Bobby fixed his eyes on a petite figure standing between Myles and Lucy convinced that she'd disappear any moment. But no, she's still there and seemed to be so solid, so real. Her face fringed with blond hair was a little red from the crying but apart from that she looked completely healthy. His eyes moved to her chest looking for the hole after the bullet but there was nothing.

„ Tara" he finally managed to utter

„Hi Bobby" she tried to smile with her trembling lips.

She'd spent last two last weeks torn between crying and praying for his survival. Seeing him now, still in hospital bed but conscious was almost too much for her.

„ Tara" he repeated as he tried to get up but Jack's and D's hands quickly stopped him from doing this.

„ Easy there tiger, slow down, you were unconscious for two weeks, it's too soon to jump of the bed" Jack stated pushing him back.

" Tara" Bobby insisted, as if he didn't hear anything that Jack just said. He only had his eyes on her, he needed to see that she was there, alive and safe.

„ Tara's fine" D assured him motioning her to come closer "see for yourself she's right here"

„ But the shoot... the action...Tara was hit..." Bobby was confused. He clearly remembered last two weeks, a sight of Tara's body falling down , a funeral, he remembered it all.

" Yes, one of them tried to shot her, but you pushed her aside just in time" Jack reminded him now clearly alarmed

„ The bullet hit you instead and for the last two weeks you're laying here sleeping" Myles confirmed pushing Tara toward the bed in hope that her presence would help.

D moved aside making a room for her.

„ It's truth Bobby" she whispered standing right next to him " you saved me"

She putted her hand on his stumbled cheek. Her touch was so gentle, so light like a butterfly hovering over a blossom.

Bobby closed his eyes in delight. A simple touch of her cool small hand on his skin felt wonderful. 14 days of continuous torment and longing, 14 days without her. Has it only been a dream?

He cocked his head and nuzzled his face into her hand. Tara could only watch helpless as tears of relief started to flow down his cheeks. Bobby was sobbing now but he didn't care. It just felt so good to have her back, to have her here with him.

Sue and Lucy seeing that their friends needed a moment for themselves without hesitation dragged very curious Jack and D and loudly protesting Myles from the room.

Tara and Bobby didn't even notice that they were alone.

It took Bobby a few minutes to calm down.

" You scared me Bobby" Tara admitted swallowing down her own tears " how could you be so stupid, so reckless! You could have died!"

" It wouldn't matter. As long as you're safe, I wouldn't matter" Bobby grasped her hand in his trying to decide whether it was the right time to say more " I'm not the one important here, you're"

„ You're important to me" Tara protested blushing when she realized her words.

„And you're for me" Bobby confessed seeing his chance. He couldn't waste any more time. He wouldn't survive losing her for the second time. Life gave him a very important lesson, and it's lesson he's not willing to forget, ever.

„ For me you're the most important person on this world" he said looking straight into her eyes.

Tara gasped „ Really? Truly?" she asked with small voice her heart ready to leap out of her chest. His eyes were fixed on her face, shining, glowing with a love

„ Really and truly" he confirmed the sleepiness seizing him "I have so much to tell you"

Tara seeing his struggle put her finger on his lips in order to hush him.

„ Later Bobby" she promised „ you will tell me later. Now you should rest"

„ Later?" he asked looking at her pleadingly. _Please luv, give me one more chance, give me any sign, that I'm not too late._

Tara was dazed seeing raw emotions written on his face.

His eyes asked her, not practically begged her for another chance.

" Sure, later, we got whole life ahead" she simply said

Something unique and beautiful passed between them.. They had their second chance for happiness.

„ But now rest" Tara ordered and Bobby suddenly frightened that she was going to leave him tightened his palms around her hand.

" Don't go" he asked " Please, just don't go"

„I'm not going anywhere " she promised sitting down on the chair placed by his bed, her hand safely locked in his.

Bobby breathed a sigh of relief. Tara was by his side safe and sound, he had his second chance. In that moment his world was absolutely perfect.

_'Thank you God'_ he thought before falling asleep

**THE END**

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